Sunday morning was beautiful. Not only did we experience a semi-rainy, colder weekend (a MUCH welcome break from Dallas’ uber hot temps), but Sophie slept in past her normal time. As she laid there (horizontally – with hubby and I teetering on the edges of our own bed btw) between a cozy comforter and pillow it hit me as it has been for a few weeks now – my sweet little baby girl is growing up. With her first birthday right around the corner, this mummy has been morphing into emotional mush (think Alex Mac and a puddle of emotions).
It feels as if she’s learning new skills and her personality grows on the daily. For ex. Hubby & I were standing in the kitchen two weeks ago, and #StandingSoph decided to let go of the coffee table and take 10 or 11 steps towards us as she became #WalkingSoph. The triumphant happiness on her face + ours – THOSE are the moments of parenthood that people talk about. I honestly didn’t get it at first – after having Sophie, I knew I needed to protect her with everything I had, but the deep-rooted bus of love didn’t run me over like I had read about. Right off the bat, I was okay with that. My goal is to be a good parent to her, the best I can be.
My goal with Sophie is twofold: I want to raise a happy child, with a good, clean heart. Whether I raise the next nuclear physicist or a writer whose poetry rivals Rupi Kaur’s, it’s all irrelevant to me. I want my child to explore, understand, and empathize with the world – and to live joyfully, doing things she loves – creating contagious happiness wherever she goes.
Sophie is going to follow my actions more than my words. It’s human nature, and I need to practice what I preach. That’s made me think a lot about who I am and what I want out of life, so I made a list:
- I ultimately want to write. This is a goal I don’t talk much about, in fear of failing, but this is my way of putting it out into the world, and now I have to stay accountable to this goal. (So hold me to it, friends! 😃)
- I love sharing my experience/thoughts with those who might benefit from them. My hope is that if a reader going through a difficult time can relate, and my experience and words might help them out – I’ll feel accomplished. For this reason, I am committing to consistently blogging, because lord knows that support for fellow parents is needed everywhere.
- I want to be a good parent. When I got married, I rose to the challenge of my new role as a spouse. I call it a challenge because my own parents were divorced and I had very skewed views entering the union. Upon meeting husband, I knew there was nothing else I wanted than to be his wife. I felt natural as a wife. Switch to, when I found out I was pregnant – I was in a state of shock. I had literally no clue what that was going to look like. I couldn’t imagine myself as a parent or what things would be like. This turned out to be a huge advantage – I had ZERO baby-related expectations and made myself go with the flow. Being a good parent and being adaptable go hand in hand. There are SO many days I am exhausted, cry, want a break – but I never project this onto Sophie, so I consider this a win.
I’ve tried to write a blog post many, many times the past year. I have SO much to say and share, but I was having trouble starting all over again. Anything I wrote didn’t feel very “me” and I realized because I was missing this. This fundamental introduction to my friends + family, of Raji the parent. So here it is – and here it goes. Welcome to reading about Raji’s life as a mom. (Cue: Allow me to re-in-tro-DUCE-myself).